Sexy Waffles

Man, my new roommates really suck sometimes.

One of those nights I start to think about love again and it just depresses me. I need to put myself out there and start dating. I’m getting really tired of this shitty loneliness 🙄

I get really bummed out every single Friday. I swear since I’ve been here it’s routine, the week flies by fine but once Friday and the weekend hits I’m in a moody slump. I don’t get bitter with anyone but myself and I just lock myself away til Monday rolls around. IDK it’s like weekend depression I can never fully grab myself out of. IDK whether to seek someone for this but just in general I think I’m really unhappy. A few things I’d like to be better at is committing to people and projects and finishing things. I might quit weed over that one it’s a big deal to me, I just end up smoking all day anyway so idk. I’d like to be with someone or something. I’d like to love again, I feel like I’m maybe ready mentally but I’m probably being naive about it. I don’t feel very accomplished and I’m trying to remedy that over the next few months by learning new things and finishing artwork and getting better at it over time. I feel like I’m very behind at where I should be in life, who knows where that is, I sure don’t. I don’t feel like I should relax any time soon, if anything I’m trying to double book myself so I can get on this grind toward being a better artist and all that. A better person in the long run too.

So I guess for now I’m kind of miserable. I’m sad, i don’t think I’m a great person really, okay at the most. I usually try to help people when I don’t need to to fill that hole. Also to be a good person, I just like being good to people when I don’t necessarily have to be. Anyway. Here’s to change and the pursuit of happiness.

OK I gotta admit at this point I am just t h i r s t y like ya bois dehydrated. I need to stop just looking at people tho too that shits real weird

Of course I start to crush on the married barista across the street. Ughhhh.

It was mostly 2 things.

Kid from CSULB comes in, gets a few movies, had Black Panther on and goes “yeah I liked the movie, but from all the hype I didn’t really enjoy it that much. The jokes were cringy. The score was really good though. I just always thought it was like ‘Black people: the movie’ though, but Killmonger was the villain so I don’t know..”

Me: (??????? Black people the movie??) I mean, a lot of people discussed his motives as a villain though, and though he might be portrayed that way, he had a lot of reason to feel the way he did. I didn’t seem as the TRUE villain really, gotta find different perspective yknow.

He didn’t really say much after that.

Later that night a good customer of ours was talking to me about his electric bike and that he went in some sketchy neighborhoods on it but he said: “yeah I was in an area of all Mexicans and (whispers) black people.. (normal voice again) and I saw the next morning the section was blocked off cause there was a shooting there”.

Like dude did you have to whisper that? I wouldn’t have thought you were kinda racist if you didn’t do that shit lol.